SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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