lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
