It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
