this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
