Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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