so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
