So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
