I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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