I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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