If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
