I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize