I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
