rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
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I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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