She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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