We won't sleep together?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
