that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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