I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
