I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
