if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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