Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
