Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
