I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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