I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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