Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.

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(210): View more from Texas

I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.

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(587): View more from Alberta

Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.

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(786): View more from Florida

If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

10 points to you

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(785): View more from Kansas

You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES

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