I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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