Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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