I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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