Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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