I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
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I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
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5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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