some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
