if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize