she smelled like a LAN party
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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