they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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