I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Me. At least after what I've been through.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
