Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize