She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
