I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
