I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
