I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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