Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
