whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Everything about him screamed your future.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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