How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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