The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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