are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize