I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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