The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
