You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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