yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
