we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
God, I missed his penis.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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