I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
