wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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