been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
